We left and caught the sky waking in the deep blue dawn. Thinking about the long miles ahead.
Crossing the border was no problem, Americans should fall for any travel alibi that involved baseball. We had some lovely breakfast foodstuff at McDonald's in Niagra Falls, but we didn't see the falls. Picked up some duty-free bourbon, and bounced through Buffalo, gray under the clouds. The real fun started when we entered Pennsylvania. Hours of huge downpours, broken by valleys and bridges and toll stations. We circled up old coal hills, most of them had their tops sliced off. There was forest all around. The sky turned black, so dark and wet I could barely see. Making our way over the endless twists and valleys, we made it to Philadelphia at 4, and by then the rain had stopped and it suddenly became a scorching humid day. Driving into the valley forge, winding down into the city, there was horrendous traffic at this point and I was quite agitated. There were also madmen on the radio, talking hosts screaming about parasites like hobos, homos, and atheists. We parked the car in a quiet, shady tree-lined district and of course our first desire was the infamous Phili cheese steak and o we indulged in a massive American meal. We didn't do too much that day.. we just kinda lingered around, bloated, walked slow. We passed through empty lots, saw beautiful graffiti, rode the transit, just moved our bones around. Made it to the water (found no waterfront) had a few beers on the patios in the old district and ate ice cream at night. Kieran suggested we sleep in New Jersey because it would save money.
So we crossed the river and entered what some would call the suburban wasteland. We didn't even see any homes. It's just a rotting electrified pile of highways and interstates and turnpikes and exits and fast food chains and gas stations and box stores and sleaze motels. Maybe there was more, but it was out of our way. After being turned down at one and turned around and unable to make left turns for miles upon miles everyone just started gathering rage at the absurdity of New Jersey until we finally found a place, where we tried to haggle (we were 4 when they gave prices for 2) and apparently Kman got caught in his own web of lies so he sent me in and I pleaded for mercy and we eventually got a room. For some reason most the motel landlords are Indian. It was a small smoky room but clean, with AC and ice and we drank sweet bourbon, watched Top Gun but it was too drunk to see. Cyrus and Sean got burgers and probably picked some fights around midnight.
The next day was fantastic, we went back into Phili, had an amazing breakfast at a diner with mmmperfect eggs benedict, and walked around the old district. Beautiful streets, some older than Montreal, but no one living there. We watched street music and almost went into the constitutional museum but it looked like a sham, praising freedom and stealing ours. After some more Phili cheese steaks we decided to look for Will Smith in west Philadelphia (born and raised, on the playground maybe). We entered the ghettos, saw bulletproof windows in corner stores, street bbq's, police cars everywhere that closed off entire streets, basically all black (though there weren't many whites downtown either which was a nice change) We were just cruisin' in the minivan but the place gave off some strange vibes.
We probably looked ridiculous as we each bought blue 30oz gatorades in a pharmacy (outside was a drive through pharma-pickup station). All in all we decided Will Smith probably wasn't there and we drove back into Phili to maybe find Brett Thalmann on the U Penn campus. This was a cool green area and obviously a university district. We reverted to our white bread ways, bought a baguette and Sean got a carton of camembert and we picnicked on the campus grass. Some crazy hippie traveller spoke to us but he was about the only American on the trip who shared a sustained conversation. We lounged around, threw the ball, unfortunately I think Cyrus got heat stroke. We drove way down South to the river to catch a ball game, drove through another ghetto, bought a dozen $1 miller pint cans at a corner store and got a buzz in the parking lot along with another thousand drunk Americans. We sat in the bleachers and it was nice to have a break and look North towards the smoggy skyline but it was a blowout so we left
a bit early and Kieran soberly drove towards more accomodation. We stayed outside of Reading, PA. On our way it seemed like the darkest highways and brightest headlights. Stayed in a luxurious Days inn for another negotiated price and this time Cyrus and I slept while Kieran and Sean got smashed on wild turkey bourbon until about 4:30 in the morning. Good God they even tried to get more Phili cheesteaks in some gas stations.
The next morning I was well rested but Kieran was incapable of coherent speech and we quickly left the room, drank as much coffee as possible at the "continental breakfast" with ludicrous Disney cartoons blaring at us and staring at us were fat babies. The drive to Pittsburgh was a breeze, great speeds on winding highways through valleys and tunnels but again, scorching heat, we were sweating profusely. Stopped just outside of Steeltown for some disgustingly filling rest stop burgers along with hundreds of others. Food, gas, energy, grease, bliss.
We drove right to PNC Park to see the second half of the game (it was a 1:30 start) got some scalped tickets and got burned because they weren't together but it didn't matter because after one inning a massive thunderstorm descended on the city. I mean beyond massive, this was one of the greatest. Everyone huddled by the walls, just barely inside, the stadium is mostly open but has some protection under the bleachers. It looks out across the river (Pittsburgh sits on the banks of the Ohio, Allegheny and another one) into the skyline and electric bolts lit up the buildings. You don't need homeruns for fireworks. The wind howled constantly and children screamed as rivers fell from higher up, everyone seemed to be having a blast, they played an old 70s championship game on the screen but no one watched. No baseball, the field was drenched, there were trenches of water (2 feet high) in the stands, it was chaos.
We eventually got back into Pittsburgh but it was completely deserted being a Sunday and of course we returned to McD's for more burgers and coffee. A few rainy day walkers were out, the city had a strange vibe too it, pretty dying buildings. Modern and forgotten. We just wanted to book it and get back home plus it was already 6 or 7 so we wandered some more, saw the fattest man in the entire world barely hanging on to the earth with his ass and drove north, away from the hills and back into familiar lands. Paid a large toll that ate our meat money and we blasted the coffee sweats and both new and old school chili peppers funk. Kieran took the wheel as I took a short snooze. Night descended on us somewhere south of Erie and we stopped at Wendy's to complete the cholesterol parade, Cyrus had his 5th cheeseburger of the day, Kieran ate 4 more and chili to boot and we were really fearing for his life back there but I had to relegate him to the back seat. More gas and grease. A great drive home, the pace quickened by Fela Cuti past only a couple of midnight crazies. We discovered that Buffalo is a scary place at night, and finally back on the QEW, past the buried treasure. On the bumpy ride home I watched the lines and my passengers fade in and out of sleep.
